Regardless of how long you’ve been in a couple, a few months or a few years, if you two are already considering -or have talked about- the idea of getting married, it’s time you sit down and before you start picking flowers, buying dresses and making invitations, take some time to talk about the important issues before marriage, because once you are married things will change and talking in advance can make the difference between a happy marriage and a bitter divorce.
Talking Before Marriage Will Clear The Air
Experts suggest that before walking down the aisle you talk about certain topics. A common mistake some couples make is when they assume that their partner loves the same way they do. But very often one person might show love very differently from someone else. Some people show love by cooking dinner for their partner, but others might prefer their partner to just sit down and talk about their days. Understanding what your partner likes before marriage will help you build a strong connection.
Discussing Money Isn’t Bad
Do not be afraid to ask your partner about their finances and don’t be afraid to talk about yours. Put all the cards on the table: credit card debt, student loans, how much you have in your savings account. It’s important to know the truth, so that if there’s any debt, you can make a plan together for tackling it. Never forget that money is one of the top reasons that bring couples to divorce.
Learn About You Our In-Laws
Yes, this particular topic that creates conflict and even brings some couples to divorce. Find out if your in-laws are willing to accept you as a member of their family, and if they will also accept that after marriage, you will have a family of your own which will have your own traditions and rules when it comes to raising children, holidays, and making decisions.
Find Out About The Background
It’s something you might have not considered talking about, but it’s important to know about the environment in which your significant other grew up, and how their family worked to see how much it affects the way they view relationships. Take a moment to talk about who was responsible for cooking, who paid the bills and how their parents shared responsibilities; you might be surprised if it wasn’t the same way you were raised. Do not be afraid to talk about intimate matters, such as the sexual partners or your past with escorts.
Ask About Couple’s Therapy
Never wait until your marriage is hanging on by a thread. Ask your partner before marriage if they consider therapy as an important part of personal growth, or as a sign of weakness. Some people think is just enough relying on a friend to talk about your issues, but others are aware that a therapist is there to support, providing reassurance, and give the tools you might be lacking to grow as a couple.
Once you have asked all this questions, you can learn how to be a stronger team together.