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How to tell him he's a bad
lover
He's great looking, kind, funny, generous, everything you ever
wanted in a partner. But! he is rubbish under the sheets. What do you do? Tell
him. OK so it sounds nasty but it's got to be done. Picture it. You have been
together 2 months and you have your first argument. You are already sexually
frustrated and now you are angry what do you think is going to come out of your
mouth? You guessed it. "You are s**t in the sack. You have lost him for good as
well as shattered all of his confidence. Here are some pointers to let him know
without risking your relationship.
The trick to telling him how bad a lover he is..... don't. Let him
know what you want not what you don't want. This can be done without uttering a
word. When he does something that you like let him know by moaning louder than
you usually do. Tell him how good that feels and that you like being touched in
that way. You aren't only telling him what you want but bringing a little sex
talk into the bedroom which will be a turn on for both of you.
The same applies for what you don't like. If he is rubbing too
hard tell him that you like it when he gently caresses you. Guide him to what
you want moving his hand/mouth/hips to where you want to be touched. You can
also try pulling his hips into you at the pace you want his movement will follow
your pull. This is also good for trying new positions. If you are always in
missionary position suggest that you could go on top, or that you fancy being
took from behind. This is also a good way to let each other know what you want
in bed without directly telling him.
Now comes the talking. Your partner isn't a mind-reader so don't
expect him to know what you want without helping him. Here is a role that you
can act to coax him into talking about sex. Remember that you are trying to let
him know that you aren't happy with the sex so keep the bedroom for pillow talk
only. Get a bottle in and go through this lot with him.
Do you remember Louise (made up name) who's wedding we went to
etc..? I bumped into her to day and she left her husband for a better lover. Can
you believe that? I hope we never get like that. I was thinking I hope you don't
leave me because you aren't happy with our sex life. I think we should try a bit
harder in bed. There are loads of things we could try. I have been thinking of
some new things that we could try. What do you think? Why don't you put a list
of things that you would like me to do and I will do the same?
You have now started talking about sex together, and out of the
bedroom. Talking about sex should be a lot easier now. But don't stop talking
about what you want even when your sex life is much better. You will make lots
more progress this way then you would by being honest.
You should now be ready to teach each other what you want. Just
think of the fun you are going to have as well. Good luck!
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